Mom, Me and My Daughter

07.07.07…The sun was setting when I opened my eyes and saw my ‘daughter’ for the first time, in all my senses. She was already a few hours old. The little one, with her twinkling eyes wide open was cuddled in my mother’s arms, folded carefully to give her warmth, probably the same warmth that I must have got when I was born.

A new relationship had marked its beginning, between mom, me and my daughter.

Its more than two years now that I graduated…from a wife to a mother. The journey so far was not only ‘back-to-school-stage’ but was also a flashback of past where I rediscovered a lot of hidden aspects of motherhood that I never bothered to care when I was playing the role of a daughter to ‘my mother’. No doubt, I have been a wonderful daughter and still continue to be the best for my mother but gradually I’ve realized that ‘being a mother does not end after 9 months, rather it starts from here and continues till the last breadth’.

Someone has rightly said that, “God created mothers as he himself could not live on earth”. When my daughter shouts ‘Grandma’ on top of her voice, my heart rejoices as I feel so connected…the word ‘ma’ remains unchanged even with ‘Grandma’, so is the magic of this word. Three of us share a heavenly chord which no human can think of cloning. It’s definite and undiluted unlike other relationships which may have some grey shades.

There are times when at certain situations, I’m reminded of similar situations of past and then is the time when I compare who was/is a better mom, me or my mother. Minutes later, I shrug myself for comparing my mother with me (just a 2.5 years old mother) and hate myself for this creepy idea. But isn’t this natural with all other similar species like me on earth? Don’t you compare yourself with your old mother? Well, my daughter does.

I do not oil-massage my daughter as good as my mother does. I was upset when my daughter said this to me and I took out extra time out of my hectic office routine, just to learn the right trick of oiling and massaging. Post lessons from my mother, I was better than before but still not the best as my ‘mother’ was. But I was happy and relaxed as the youngest one in the generation had already started bridging the generation gap.

I feel happy and content when my daughter likes my mother more than me. This soothens my guilt of not liking my mother, more than a friend’s mother in my school or college days. I wanted the best of recipe for my tiffin-box. I avoided opening my tiffin on days when the lunch was not of my taste and loved to have a bite of sandwich from my best pal’s tiffin. At a recent Parents Teachers Meeting in my daughter’s playschool, I made sure to write remarks in the notebook that my daughter needs attention for her food habits.

“Your daughter loves to eat other children’s tiffin”, said her classteacher.

My mother is reliving her motherhood with my daughter and I’m trying to create a place for myself in-between, to live every moment of this special relationship. A plate of fruits shared between us has always been a cherishable moment for me only because my daughter makes sure that I put a piece of apple in my mom’s mouth and she repeats the same for me. It’s a doll game for her but for me and my mom its ‘life’ admits tension, stress and chaos of earning bread and butter.

Am I a replica of what my mother had imagined for me? I have no answers to this as I’ve hardly sat with my mother to understand if I am even close to what she had planned for me. But this does not stop me to think about my daughter’s future…what would she become? Will she confide in me for all her fancies and dreams? Will she treat me like her friend? Will she like me over her friends’ mother? Thanks to my daughter as thinking about her has made me realize that there’s still time for me to spend some ‘tea-coffee-hours’ with my mother and know her expectations.

Needless to say that, birth of my daughter has not only added new dimensions in my life but it has also given me a chance to reconnect and rebond with my mother, who was left behind in the race of catching with college friends, job, office parties, marriage, late night movies etc. I think, it’s time to give back and I shall let my mother enjoy every moment with my daughter and with each passing year, I will make sure that my mother remains a ‘mother’ for my daughter as well…

Thank you God for this gift of relationship between…mom, me and my daughter.

Employee Retention

Employee Retention - The Why, When And How
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Robert Frost said, “The world is full of willing people, some willing to work, the rest willing to let them”.

It was early July 2005; I walked in Ma Foi Kolkata as a candidate to submit my resume. A few days later, I joined Ma Foi. Being an HR consultant, I offered my father to apply for an Axis Bank opening. He said, “I am very happy and comfortable with SBI (for the past 25+ years)”. Then in Dec 2006, I quit Ma Foi as I was on my family way. In late 2007, when I started getting offers from different companies, I said, “I was very happy and comfortable with Ma Foi and would be joining it back”. I re-joined Ma Foi in Jan 2008. As an employee, I think that my employer was able to retain me just by being sensitive to my needs unlike other companies who still use the old style of “my-way-or-the-highway” style of management.

Employee retention is a critical issue and it has become inevitable as there is shortage of skilled labour and employee turnover is costly– also causing workforce instability, lower effectiveness and negative impact on the employment market specially when the media is always-on-toe looking for the “latest” about a company. Heard of employee turnover in ICICI Bank…well, it’s the latest! Employee retention takes effort, energy, and resources...and the results are worth it. You know Constant churning costs you a lot. Retention saves on time as well, when it takes days after days in completing the circle of hiring and training a new workforce. While everyone agrees that turnover is a problem, there seems to be a reluctance to invest resources to retain top talent. Part of this hesitancy comes from a sense that counter-turnover efforts really don't make a difference; people leave anyway. Ignoring employee turnover won't make it go away. Talented people who continue to develop skills and increase their value to the organization and to the customers are the most important resource. The loss of customers, supplier confidence, investor support, and employee morale can be very expensive.
Recruitment and Retention go hand in hand but somehow, retention was at a backseat. Now, that gap is closing. The concern for employee retention is rapidly gaining increased interest around the world. Everybody cannot be P G Kakodkar who spent 40 years only with SBI. Today’s workforce is different. To be chosen by the employees you want is a worthy objective, especially when your competitors are eager to hire the same people. It is advisable to invest in employee retention, when you are loosing on valued customers, because you can no longer provide the same level of service, expertise, or reliability demanded in today's competitive market. When the industry as a whole is facing an attrition problem, to retain the best talent is critical for the long term health and success of your business. "People are the key asset for any organization".


Finding the best possible people who can fit within your culture and contribute within your organization is a challenge and an opportunity. Employees may enjoy moving around laterally in different jobs. Flexible career options (specially for working mothers), an excellent benefit package(The Indian mutual fund industry, for example, is beginning to use employee stock option programs (ESOPs) to attract and hold desired employees), knowledge sharing opportunities, a culture that values staff contributions, advancement, development and pay based on performance (matching the competitive salary), can help to retain your talented employees. Creative approaches are giving many employers a competitive edge in the war for talent. Don’t ask me how I felt when I was recognized in my organization for my participation in extra-curricular activities. Unique things can be done to attract, optimize, and hold the valued employees. Recognizing the special occasions of the employees is one of them. A card, a phone call, a letter, flowers or even a gift from the company is special. And it matters. In today’s uncertain work environment, humor isn’t an option, it’s necessary. Laughter may not change reality, but it can certainly help people survive. Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work, meaning appreciation from managers and ultimately leading to job satisfaction…another key to retention. Treat them great as people leave managers and supervisors more often than they leave companies or jobs. Supervisors must take responsibility for their own employee retention and get trained to understand what it really takes to retain employees, because in the long run, this workforce will make or break a company's reputation.

“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; but remember that what you have now was once among the things you only hoped for”.
Wish You A Happy Retention.

- Hansa Sinha-